all, contrary to some people's fantasies, girls don't get to go to parties every night either.

This brings up what I mean by the idealized concept of women many FPs seem to entertain. A woman, like a man, has responsibilities. She has to work to survive, too. She suffers from loneliness, boredom, and frustration just as often as a man. Anyone who has convinced him- self that just by assumoing the appearance of a woman he will avoid these facts of life is just adding to his frustration. "But why not ignore them," some have said, "since I only dress for enjoyment?" The danger here is that if the FP equates femininity with fun he can damage or ruin his appre- ciation of his masculine life. If he does this for a nonexistant ideal life, the result is tragic.

Does all this solve the problems of compartmentalization? He has broadened (forgive me) the “girl within,” but has he really brought her out? To do that, I think, something has to be done about the "man out- side." In some cases, he seems so completely outside that about all he wants to do is cut her throat. The "girl within” has had no influence on his life, except to antorganize it. I have read The TV and Wife and heard the gentle and understanding qualities of FP praised but I have not always seen this illustrated in life. In all too many FPs there has been a rigid exclusion of feminine qualities from the rest of the life. This told this is necessary. “All regular men are brutes and if I act different they'll think I'm queer." This is utter nonsense. To be sure men are so insecure that they need to overemphasize their agressivenss. But women have no exclusive right to the qualities of deep feeling, appreciation of beauty, or concern for others. There may be particularly feminine ways of expressing these but any really admirable man has a good share of them. An over agressive, brutish, personality is not masculine but a parody of it. If the "girl within" is ever truly going to come out, I am convinced, there must be a blending of the essential personality of both sides of the individual. The masculine side needs to be able to express honest feel- ings when deeply moved by something gentle or beautiful. The feminine side needs some aggressiveness and activity in order to amount to any- thing. The FP may enjoy some particularly feminine activity or expres- sion in connection with dressing but he should not think that he can only express a real feeling of grief, for instance, when wearing "the suits and trappings of woe." A real integration of the FP's personality should make it possible for him to enjoy all the aspects of his personality and make cross dressing an expression of his complete self rather than a com- pulsion driving him against his masculine will.

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